Peace for Parents of ADD Children – Dr. Stephen A. Ferrari
I have written articles in the past that talked primarily about helping children who have ADD lead more successful, happy lives. In this article I would like to address the parents of children with ADD, and try to offer some suggestions on how they might make their lives more peaceful.
The first thing I want to acknowledge and try to alleviate is parental guilt. Many, if not most parents of ADD children feel guilty and somehow responsible for their children’s plight.
ADD, if truly present (as can only be determined by a neurological assessment), is definitively not the result of poor parenting, emotional trauma, or moral failure. It is a neurological condition, and as such, its causes and cure are of a neurological nature, and once again, definitely not one of the above. Parents beat themselves up for this all of the time, and not only is it not helpful, it may in fact worsen the situation and further deteriorate family dynamics.
The following are some guidelines, which if followed, should bring about some peace for beleaguered parents of children who struggle with ADD.
- ADD children will do better with powerful consequences (positive before negative) which are immediate
- Consistency, between parents and over time is very important
- The more structure someone with ADD has, the better they will do
- Feedback must be given more frequently
- Intervention must be at the point of performance
- Expect variability of performance
- Plan ahead and anticipate situations
- Make rules very simple and very clear
- Stop talking! Once instructions are simple and clear, and immediate consequences of behavior are spelled out, stop talking. Continued talking will confuse and distract from the directions given.
Formula for attention from the ADD child:
A (attention from child) = C (degree of consistency) + W (precise, specific wording, the way directions are given to the child)
There is one other way to bring about the maximum amount of peace in dealing with an ADD child,… and that is to correct the condition entirely. The improvement in performance and/or behavior, with the corresponding increase in self-esteem, that come about when a person no longer has to struggle with attention deficit disorder, is wonderful to see.
The aforementioned suggestions, while helpful, can be likened to using a crutch or a cane to help someone walk when they have a broken leg. It’s helpful, but it will never correct the problem.
There is now a treatment available that avoids the side effects, rigors and stigma of medication, while allowing the child to actually retrain the attention mechanisms of their brain, ameliorating the condition. Neurofeedback is a drug free, painless procedure. Once the treatment is complete, no further training is necessary.
To request information on the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD, ADHD), Mild to Moderate Autism Spectrum Disorders, Sleep Disorders, Chronic Depression, Chronic Anxiety, and Peak Performance Training contact:Dr. Stephen A. Ferrari Alta Neuro-Imaging Neurofeedback 1075 Yorba Place Suite 105 Placentia, CA 92870 714.990.6536