Are Parental Guilt and A Child’s Struggle Necessary Costs of ADD? – By Dr. Stephen A. Ferrari
A parent’s natural instinct is to protect their children from all of the dangers, inequities, and hardships of life. We know, however, that we too have our limitations and unfortunately cannot shield them from all that life hands out. This zeal can become misdirected, as our hearts often do not follow out minds. As we blame ourselves for failing to protect them from those things which we cannot, we often suffer, as this zeal turns inward into unwarranted guilt. This guilt hampers our effectiveness as parents and can disrupt other family dynamics.
A prime example of this mistake is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). The cause of this disorder (or its symptoms: inattention, with difficult homework and academic performance; hyperactivity, impulsive behavior problems; or both) is often mistakenly taken to be poor parenting, lack of involvement, or some other “parental” type cause. This could not be more untrue. ADD is a neurological disorder, plain and simple, and as such is specifically not attributable to any of the above mentioned causes, although there are plenty of sources (both internal and external) that are ready to tell you otherwise, and cause this inappropriate and very counter-productive guilt problem.
Children also struggle with these same untrue, inward-blaming tendencies. Children with Attention Deficit Disorder blame themselves; form inaccurate low self-images which they act out of; and in time, will give up on school, learning, and themselves. The sadness and frustration of behavior problems and/or poor academic performance this disorder can cause, if untreated, wear children down too. Each year that goes by, the child can get further behind and/or further labeled, and the problem can seem unbeatable. You as a parent may find some of these feelings present in yourself as well.
The guilt, struggle, and failure brought about by this disorder are particularly heartbreaking when this is a problem that is most often simply corrected, without the unwanted side effects and complications of medication.
To request information on the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD, ADHD), Mild to Moderate Autism Spectrum Disorders, Sleep Disorders, Chronic Depression, Chronic Anxiety, and Peak Performance Training contact:Dr. Stephen A. Ferrari Alta Neuro-Imaging Neurofeedback 1075 Yorba Place Suite 105 Placentia, CA 92870 714.990.6536