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“Won’t or Can’t” … with children
Dr. Ferrari • Mar 08, 2014

One of the paramount questions for successfully parenting children is whether a problem behavior is occurring because a child “won’t” or “can’t” perform the behavior properly. Answering this question correctly makes all the difference in the world as to whether you solve the problem behavior or not, and more importantly, whether you help or hinder your child. If your child can, or is able to, perform a task, let’s say complete their homework for example, but is not doing it, then you are dealing with a case of “won’t” and the problem is likely one of motivation. However, if your child is unable to complete a task, or “can’t”, then this is a different issue and needs to be addressed in an entirely different fashion. This issue is reflected upon nicely in a recent article by Dr. Bernie Wilkinson.

If the issue is a won’t than the desired behavior needs to be reinforced. Many parents (often, but not exclusively, fathers) automatically will go first to negative reinforcement, or punishment. This can be effective but typically causes anger and resentment in the child which therefore creates yet another problem to deal with. Positive reinforcement, or reward, is nine times more effective in correcting behavior and doesn’t have any of these negative side effects.

If your child “can’t”, or is unable to complete task than you must determine the reason why and correct the problem first. If this is not done, and the parent treats the problem as a motivation issue, then the child’s inability to achieve the reward (or in the worst case scenario, avoid punishment) will result in a sense of failure and frustration and the loss of belief in self. This is the last thing you want to do with your child.

If the issue is task related or behavioral, and your child has the necessary knowledge to perform the behavior, yet still cannot do it, then the problem may very well be ADHD. Many parents, unfortunately deny this possibility because they fear the rigors of medication, or that this in some way reflects poorly upon them as parents. In order to avoid parenting problems and the damage to the aforementioned child, it is critical to do ADD/ADHD non-drug testing and treatment, also known as neurofeedback training for ADHD, neurofeedback therapy, or neurofeedback treatment for ADHD (if necessary).

ADD/ADHD non-drug testing and treatment is done through neurofeedback. The testing is done through EEG analysis, which is the only objective test to see if the symptoms are actually coming from this disorder. This method of testing is a sophisticated yet simple way to determine the source of the child’s problems.

ADD and ADHD Neurofeedback treatment is a drug and side effect free method of painlessly retraining the attention and behavioral mechanisms of the brain. In a series of sessions the child learns to correct these problems, therefore alleviating the disorder. With neurofeedback for ADHD, once the training is complete, no further treatment is necessary, and your child be able to perform the tasks and behaviors they are requested to in an appropriate manner typical for their age.

Orange County Neurofeedback

Alta Neuro-Imaging is the preferred orange county neurofeedback for ADD/ADHD non-drug testing and treatment. If you are making the wise and safe decision to use neurofeedback to treat ADHD, you will be doing both yourself and your child a great service by doing ADD and ADHD neurofeedback treatment.

Orange County Neurofeedback Can Help With the Issue of “Can’t Versus Won’t” with Children

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